


How to Break Simon's Brain 101

by inoru_no_hoshi



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-03
Updated: 2012-04-03
Packaged: 2017-11-02 23:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/374659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inoru_no_hoshi/pseuds/inoru_no_hoshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon really, really doesn't get it. He's such a boob.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Break Simon's Brain 101

**Author's Note:**

> Dialogue-only! Because it was more interesting that way.
> 
> Written for the prompt _Author's choice, any, Wedded: A Undercover Wife_ on [fic_promptly](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org).

"So, wait. Explain to me again just how it was decided that _my sister_ needed to marry _Jayne_ of all people so you could pull this job off. I'm just dying to know."

"Simon, honey—"

"Not now, Kaylee. I'm really hoping there was a good reason. Not just, you know, convenience."

"Jayne had the shoulders for the suit—"

"Made Mal look right scrawny, it did."

"So 'Nara brushed up his manners for it - didja know Jayne can speak fancy, Simon? Guess his Mama taught him proper! - an' then it was me or River, 'cause it would've been suspicious if he went and didn't have a wife, an' 'Nara said she was too fancy an' Companion rules an' all an' Zoe don't want nobody but Wash, an' I said I wouldn't, thanks—"

"And I volunteered."

"River! _Jayne_?"

"Necessary."

"We can get you a divorce!"

"The definition of 'volunteer' is 'willing'. Willing, in this case, is synonymous with 'eager'."

"But— _Jayne_?"

"Quit being a boob, Simon."


End file.
